My good friend MM sent me a link to this interesting blog post last week Why Asian Women Date White Men and I had to check it out. The post is extremely well written, and it definitely raises some interesting points which, as an Asian woman who is married to a pasty white man, I can relate to.
I’m sure we’ve all encountered someone who has ‘yellow fever’, that is – white men who only ever date Asian women. A common perception is that these men are attracted to the submissive, subservient stereotype of Asian women, compelling them to bask in the feeling of dominance and masculinity which they may be lacking in their own lives. Well, if this is why Husband married me, I’d have to say that he completely lucked out. I’m pretty sure no one has ever used the words submissive or subservient to describe my personality – in fact, I’m pretty sure that I wear the pants in the relationship for most of the non-finance related decisions. The fact that I cook and clean for Husband is not a subservient thing; it’s a Trophy Wife thing, so don’t get that confused.
In reading some of the comments made on the post, I love how girls state that they’ve dumped the guy after they’ve realized that the dude has yellow fever. I seriously don’t understand how this is a bad thing? Everyone has a ‘type’ that they typically go for. I’m going to put it out there that my type is nerdy white guys, and is Husband going to crack it when he realizes this? Ah, no. So what’s with all the angry outbursts from Asian women? I understand that dating someone with the fever may cause you to wonder – hmmm, are they dating me because I’m awesome, or just because I’m Asian? What does it matter? It’s like dudes that have a boob fetish, and they hook up and date someone with big jugs – what’s wrong with that? Seriously, if you’re so paranoid about if the guy likes you for you, or for being Asian, I’m going to put it out there that he might just like you because you’re Asian, since you actually sound like a crazy drama-filled psycho.
Sure – Husband’s girlfriend before me was also Asian. Am I going to go all Fatal Attraction on his ass and dump him for having the fever? Hell no – I’m not going to have a momentary lapse of judgment and forget who pays for my credit card bills. And does dating just one Asian automatically characterize you with the fever? Or is there a number you must hit before you’re crowned with the title? Who makes this shit up?
I also love the ‘Creepy White Dude’ stigma that the post raised, and the little cartoon in the post that basically shows how some dorky white dude who couldn’t hit it in his home town transformed into some sort of Adonis when he is in Asia. I see these white dudes whenever I go visit Asia – they’re everywhere! But seriously – can you really think these guys relocated to Asia just to tap some of that sweet, sweet Asian ass? Well, sure, some might have – but with the world being so small now, and with the Asian economy going balls to the wall, a lot of employees need to relocate to Asian countries for their career, and sure, while they’re there, they might sample the local goods (ie: women). It’s just called assimilating to the culture!
This reminds me of the first time I took Husband back to Taiwan – while we were there, we did a quick trip to Hong Kong as during that time we were considering relocating to HK. We were enjoying a drink towards the end of our vacation, Husband turned and said to me “You know babe, what do you think about moving to Taiwan instead?” And I was like “Ah – no. That is not an option” (yup, that’s how submissive I am.) This was followed by my confused tilty head face, coupled with asking “Why do you want to think about moving to Taiwan? It was never in the picture – the plan is for us to relocate to Hong Kong – remember?” And then Husband comes out with this gem “Yeah…but it seems like there are WAY too many white guys in Hong Kong already, so I wouldn’t be considered special with the ladies. I didn’t see a lot of white guys in Taiwan, so let’s go there instead!” Yeah, great argument Husband. I’ll start packing for Taiwan immediately.
I especially liked the line in the post “A stigma exists towards Asian women who date Western men also cast interracial dating in a poor light. They are considered as being social climbers, materialistic and superficial.” HEY! I’m ALL those things! In fact those are my best qualities, and I’m quite proud of them. Sigh – seriously, what’s with all the drama with inter-racial dating? Did Hitler make up these stigmas, to go along with this desire for an Aryan race? I mean, calm the fuck down already, it’s 2K12, people are going to try new things. And we ALL know that half Asian, half white people are seriously hot – why do we want to limit the world of hot people? It doesn’t make any sense to me.
I’ve only ever dated one Asian man myself, it was during the time when I was an early teen, and it didn’t work out. Not because he was Asian, it was because his name was Julian. Seriously, Julie and Julian’s cannot date. Period. That’s not to say that I’m not attracted to Asian men, actually, I think John Cho totally bangable, and I have an Asian Facebook man-friend who I consider incredibly attractive (I’ll let you guess which one). I don’t have anything against Asian dudes, it’s just that I haven’t met one that’s really done it for me. Coupled with the fact that I don’t really fit the stereotypical image of a Asian woman, in that I’m incredibly tall for a Chinese girl, and don’t own anything Hello Kitty – hence, Asian guys often don’t approach me.
I know a lot of my friends who read my blog are also in the same situation as me, or, in the reverse situation – one of my very best friends is an attractive white girl who has yellow fever for the Asian man. Please feel free to add your thoughts on this topic in the comments below!
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6 comments
MM - April 16, 2012 3:26 PM
You know I could leave 700 comments here about this subject, but I’ll try to keep it down to single digits. Being of the pale skin variety, I can tell you that many of my fellow white folk do put Asian women in a different category – that being the girl who will be more traditional and rub a man’s feet, as opposed to white women who just complain about their man. To which, I say, they clearly have never met you, Trophy Wife! But then, on the other hand my soon to be Asian Husband said he decided to date white girls because they weren’t as high maintence as Asian girls – and he doesn’t want to hold a girl’s purse his whole life. It’s just funny how people have their own stereotypes about certain races and cultures. David was just joking, obviously, but it’s amazing the amount of preconceived notions people have. And a lot of times it comes from people our own age. I had a guy actually ask me why I was dating an Asian guy – was it because I like quiet, nerdy types. Ugh. No, I just like hot men! If everyone was an equal opporunity dater we’d have less men and women complaining about being single.
Julie - April 16, 2012 3:29 PM
Once again, all great points MM! And I think David’s hot too. Don’t tell him though – he might want to start holding my purse..
XXX
MM - April 16, 2012 3:32 PM
You can try giving him your purse, but he’ll ball up his hands and let it drop to the ground. He’s awesome like that.
Kim - April 17, 2012 7:30 PM
I am TERRIFIED of the creepy dorky white men who stalks asian women. seriously they freak me out. Just because I am asian does not mean I automatically want to talk to you fucktard. The best combinations are dorky white guy with dorky asian chick. That makes me laugh and vomit at the same time. I agree with you Jules – I am so not asian. My eyes just happened to be a bit slanted and my skin a tad yellow.
Humong - July 22, 2012 2:26 AM
You cannot accuse your husband of yellow fever. Perhaps, it is you who has the white fever. Have you ever thought about that? You will see white men with women of all ethnicities. However, if you see an East Asian woman with a man of a different ethnicity than her, it’s almost always white. So to blame your husband for yellow fever is hypocritical. Tell me, how many men did you date that are South Asian, Middle Easterner, Black, Hispanic, or other race.
Julie - July 22, 2012 9:19 AM
Thank you for your comment, yet it confuses me. It sounds like you think I believe having yellow fever is a bad thing? I am actually a huge advocate of men having the fever. It really works to my benefit! And in terms of my dating history, I have dated all nationalities of men – Middle Eastern, Black, Hispanic and Asian. I really don’t discriminate, I really was quite the whore in my younger days. I ended up marrying a white man because he was the man I fell in love with and the only man I could ever see myself marrying – it has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with the size of his assets, financial and physical.