I wanted to write my first real 2014 post about something light and fluffy – like telling you about details of my Australian vacation. However, when I read this piece today by Amanda Hess, it stirred up such strong emotions in me that I couldn’t not write about it.
Even now, an hour after I read the article, I am still very much worked up and angry about the ordeal she and other women on the internet had to experience.
I’ll give you some time to read it here: Why Women aren’t Welcome on the Internet. While it is a long piece, trust me, it’s worth investing the time to get to the end.
As a woman on the internet myself and writing about the controversial subjects that I do, I know that I am opening up a can of worms whenever I publish any type of opinionated post or article.
I’ve been the victim of much online abuse, be it angry tweets, hate mail or abusive comments on my blog. I have also featured on controversial gossip websites with posts that are written directly to abuse my looks and writing.
Most of the comments about my looks and my weight I brush off – I mean, really what can I do with that? Whenever someone calls me a fat bitch, how can an Asian be a Trophy Wife, aren’t Trophy Wives supposed to be hot and how can you call yourself one when you’re an ugly, old slut, I hope you get a STD and die – I mean, whatever. Generally, they’re just idiots letting off steam.
However, it’s the ones that target my family, my upbringing and my writing that really upsets me. People who attack my family saying that my mother must have been a whore because she raised a whore, how they hope my parents are ashamed of what a disgusting slut I’ve become and men who constantly insult the fact that I’m an advocate for women’s sexual freedom in that they believe my writings will encourage their daughters to open their legs to everyone they meet.
While my abuse is not at the level that Amanda Hess experienced, it is still relevant to the point that she is trying to prove: women aren’t welcome online – especially women with opinions: opinions about sex in particular.
Of course, the majority of the abusers stem from anonymous an account – which is especially frustrating as most of the women online operate under their real person and in the context of their real life, like myself. There is nowhere to hide and judging from this article, no protection given in instances where women feel threatened.
I have always deleted or blocked my abusers in an attempt to just brush it off and forget about it – but this article really made me think: maybe I should be retaliating, addressing the issue instead of pretending that it doesn’t happen. Maybe these abusers need to be put in their place. I’ve always operated under the idea of “ignore it and it’ll go away.” But maybe it’s time to take a stand – not just for myself, but for all the other women bloggers out there.
I write this to all my readers out there – I know that a lot of you who read my blog are also women on the internet: women who operate blogs like myself. I implore you to get this message out there – internet abuse, online stalking and online rape culture is NOT okay. As Amanda Hess puts it – it is absolutely the next civil rights issue and something that needs to be addressed.Read More »