I have two major trips coming up for the remainder of the year: visiting my parents in Taiwan in October (slightly pissed about this one because it means I’ll miss Halloween here in NYC. You know I love me a day where I can dress up sluttier than usual for no reason at all. Dammit Momma Lin!!) and Christmas with the in-laws back in Australia. I’m less mad about the Xmas trip because there are no slutty holidays during that time. I’m sure I can make one up – how about the annual Dress Like a Slut Day? Fuck it – I’m going to make it happen.
Anywho – before I go off on a tangent about sluts, let me move on to the subject I wanted to discuss today: white parents versus Asian parents.
Now, before I married Husband, I had little to no exposure into the ways of the white parents. No disrespect to my in-laws, but having been raised by slightly crazy Momma Lin, the ways of the white parents still baffles me somewhat.
The first time I had an inkling that white parents are unlike my own was when I sat down to dinner with the in-laws. At that time, Husband and I had been dating for a few years and we had flown back to Australia for some reason… I don’t quite remember what but it must have been for something really important like picking up a Chanel bag that my Ma and purchased me.
Anyways – there we all are: Husband, his ma and pa, his sister and her boyfriend.
So, there I was, as always, making fun of Husband – because in the love starved family that I was raised, the best way to show your love was to make fun of others:
Me: I mean, look at him – he has all these white hairs and he’s getting a little tubby! (talking about how much Husband works)
Ma In-Law: Oh, but he’s so handsome. AND he’s so successful!
I just smiled and nodded but in my head I was like “WTF IS GOING ON HERE??? What kind of parent praises their child? IN FRONT OF OTHERS??? Is this a joke??”
See, if Husband said that, Momma Lin would have been all:
“You so right boy. Mei Mei is fat – because she like to eat! Look how she ate all her plate?! That why she so fat!”
And then she’ll point at my belly and laugh – that’s love in my family.
Over the years, and as I have gotten to know my in-laws (who are really very nice people so don’t think I’m hating) and this is what I have deciphered:
- White parents encourage and praise their children to get them to the top. Asian parents scold, nag and withhold until their kid is number one.
- Asian parents only recognize number one – getting an A minus means you failed. White parents have no problems with their kids getting a B, it’s celebrated!!
- Asian parents are experts in guilting their kids into getting what they want. White parents accept your decision.
- White parents tip toe around major issues that they think may cause you to get upset. Asian parents don’t give a fuck if you get upset – that’s how you get shit done!
- White parents encourage you to do extracurricular activities like sports. To Asian parents, studying is a sport. So is playing the piano or the violin.
- White parents generally think that their kids are god. Asian parents are god.
- White parents generally cut you off after college. Asian parents are forever your bottomless bank.
- White parents encourage their kids to be independent. If I hadn’t met a man and moved out of home, I probably would still be living with my momma now.
- White parents say things like “I love you!” to their kids and give them hugs and kisses. My dad high-fived me when I left home to move to New York.
- If white parents dislike the person you are dating, they generally keep that shit on the down low. Asian parents will do anything and everything to break you up, bankrupt their family and deport them out of the country.
- White parents treat their adult children like adults. I will forever be a little girl to my parents. When I’m with my dad I’m only allowed to have sips of alcohol, under his guidance – and still I feel guilty drinking in front of my dad. I’m THIRTY-FUCKING-FOUR.
I’m not saying one is better than the other – trust me, if I have children, I will raise them pretty much the same way my Momma raised me. I turned out okay, right?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Either on white vs Asian parents or any other types of crazy parentals.
Please share in the comments below!Read More »