Thought I’d catch you kids up with what’s been going on in my life recently. They’re all rather disjointed and I’m not good enough of a writer to segue into each one so I’ll just list each event separately, because, you know, English second language and all:
Scene – Husband and I are in bed Monday night. Time is close to midnight. (Man, I’d be awesome at this screenwriting thing, right? Is that what it’s called? Playwriting maybe? Whatever.)
Me: Yo did you get this email from your mother?
Me: Oh shit. It’s our anniversary tomorrow.
Husb: No way.
Me: Yes…it’s the 13th tomorrow. Remember we got married on Friday the 13th? You know, it was the legal bit we did down at City Hall?
Husb: Fuck. I totally forgot. I got you nothing
Me: I totally forgot too. I can’t believe you didn’t get me anything.
Husb: Shut up. You didn’t know either. Anyway – it’s midnight now so Happy Anniversary!
Me: I wonder what the traditional gift is for a 2 year anniversary? I hope its pizza.
Husb: Done. I’ll buy you pizza tomorrow.
Me: Best. Anniversary. Ever.
As you all know, I have just returned from my vacation back to Australia to spend Christmas with family. Look – I love my family, don’t get me wrong. I love my parents, I love my in-laws and siblings and siblings in-laws and whatever else – but a vacation to see family isn’t a real vacation, don’t you think?
You know what I mean. I drag my ass on this 22 hour flight back to the motherland Australia – which, I might add, isn’t cheap you know. I know everyone thinks that being a TW2.0 I’m just making it rain with hundred-dollar bills every time I go out. I’d hate to disappoint you, but I am actually very responsibubble with money.
Anywho – like I was saying, a business class ticket back home to Sydney isn’t just a drop in the pond, especially when the airline fucks you over completely and lie about having flat beds and you really end up on those crappy slanty beds which no one can sleep on because ultimately, you end up scrunched up on your footrest like a sharpei puppy. (I’m looking at you Qantas – fool me once and I’m never flying you again.)
So, back to my rant. While it was lovely to be back in sunny Sydney, enjoying the summer weather, getting my tan on – ultimately, vacations to see family means you’re at someone else’s beck and call. It’s a vicious circle – first, you drop over to see the family, have some lunch/dinner with them, and then they’re like “Oh, what are you doing tomorrow?” Part of you wants to be like – Chillaxing? Probably getting wasted in the sun somewhere and then stumbling back to my hotel room to sleep it off? But then family is like “Let’s grab lunch!” So, then the good daughter part of you is saying – “Well. The whole purpose of your trip is to come and hang with family. You better do it Julie.”
And so it starts. The same thing happens the next day. And the day after that. And so on and so on and so on. Until you realize – hey! It’s the last 2 days of my vacation! Have I had any time to myself to relax? Hella no! But of course, this is followed by the goodbye lunch/dinner invitation – the “Oh, it’s the last chance we will see each other until god knows when!” How do you say no to that? You don’t, because Chinese guilt has taught me so.
Then all of a sudden, you’re back on your long-assed return flight, landing back into freezing JFK and you think to yourself – Fuck me: I need a vacation!
Please tell me I’m not the only person who feels like this.Read More »