Post Date Questionnaire

My good friend MM posted this article on her facebook wall recently “24 Year Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates to Complete A Creepy Survey Afterwards” and I thought it was rather witty! Well, maybe I’m biased since this is a rather dorky thing to do, and we are all now fully aware of my nerd fetish. However, coming from a background in research myself, I decided to would put together my version of this dating survey. If only I had thought of this sooner, it would have saved me going on A LOT of lame-ass dates.

Bravo, 24 year old Finance Dude!

JULIE’S DATE RESPONSE FORM

First Impressions:

1. Please rate your outfit of the evening on a scale of 1 to 10. If you gave yourself anything less than a 6, please be aware that Julie probably gave you a 3 and below. Don’t expect to hear from her ever again.

2. Julie is very self-conscious about her, um…well, nothing. Please list anything you’re self-conscious about so Julie can make snide remarks about it in future conversation.

3. Please list any physical attributes of Julie that needs improvement.

If you did list anything in question 3, you’re a douchebag. Please don’t call me again.

Date:

4. How are Julie’s conversational skills? Did you ask questions about her all night? Why didn’t you? She’s awesome.

5. Julie is very attractive. At any point of the evening did you feel a little inadequate about your own looks? How are you planning on rectifying that issue? She has to be seen with you publicly, you know.

6. Did Julie make multiple attempts to grab your arms? If not, you may want to consider working out more. Or bicep implants.

7. Did you pay for dinner? I assume you answered yes; otherwise you would not receive this survey. Get used to it – Julie never pays for dinner.

Miscellaneous:

8. How do you feel about pandas?

9. Do you have a panda?

10. Are you really a panda in disguise?

11. Are there any obese people in your family or extended family?

Please attach a certified copy of your bank statement and evidence of all your financial assets prior to returning this form to Julie.  This will determine whether there will be a second date. No pressure.