So, tonight I’m attending the Manhattan Cocktail Classic Gala. When I first heard about the event, I rushed to purchase tickets immediately because it sounded absolutely amazing – it is being hosted at the New York Public Library which spans 2 city blocks, and they will be serving over 25,000 cocktails and canapés.
Unfortunately as the night draws nearer, my excitement is definitely waning. First of all, I have absolutely nothing to wear. Yes – I know I have 2 entire wardrobes and 2 suitcases full of dresses, but nothing seems right. The dress code calls for “creative and/or slightly salty black tie optional.” Um, salty black tie? What does that even mean? Now, we all know I am generally sartorially blessed in all social situations, but this really has me stumped. Of course, I left it to the last minute to realize that I have no suitable outfit, so tonight I really have to wing it and see if I am truly Trophy Wife material.
On top of that, I heard from a mutual friend who attended the event last year that attendees generally line up AN HOUR before the event starts to ensure a timely entry! I am NOT standing outside for an hour, without a cocktail and in my 4 inch Louboutins! After realizing what a complete shit show tonight is going to be, I hate to admit that I am kinda dreading it. The way I see it, this is how it’s going to go down:
It is times like this that I appreciate and embrace segregation of the masses. Why can’t all social events be like flying? I mean, why don’t we have a first, business and coach class? That way, I can always bypass the general public with their 1 hour wait, get escorted into the VIP area where handsome men and large breasted blonde ladies fawn all over me with martinis and hors d’oeuvres all while pointing and laughing at the unattractive commoners.
Oh wait – they do have that option: it’s called the VIP ticket. And I didn’t purchase one. Trophy Wife Fail.
Sigh – I’ll post over the weekend to let you know how it all went down!