So there I was on Sunday afternoon, enjoying a quiet bottle of Bollinger with Husband, celebrating how efficient we have been with our unpacking and organizing of the new apartment, all while admiring my physique in my new floor to ceiling mirror I made Husband purchase.
Me: You know, I’m looking pretty amazing.
Husb: Modest too.
Me: What? I’ve been working out like a fiend recently, and I have to say, I’m in the best shape I’ve been in my entire life.
Husb: Really? Even when you were modeling?
Me: Totes. That was when I was all bulimic and skinny. Now I’m buff. I think I’ve really buffed up.
Husb: Hmm – I don’t think being buffed up is the best thing for a woman. I think you mean you’ve gotten leaner.
Me: Yeah. Totes more lean. Look at my guns. I’m fricking ripped. (In my mind, this is how I think I look. I don’t really – I mean, I’m obviously not blonde)
Husb: Imagine how amazing you’d look if you just changed your diet. You know, cut out drinking and stuff.
Me: Don’t be redonkulous. That is un-Trophy Wife like. You should just be happy that I’m not a fat Trophy Wife – if there’s even such a thing.
Husb: I’m sure there are. Maybe you can write a post on it – Fat Trophy Wives!
So after doing some research, the disappointing results below in fact proves that there ARE some fat Trophy Wives!
Now, it seems that she ate an entire third world country, and looks like this. Apparently, Pierce is still totally into her. I guess he probably is afraid to upset her in case she eats him while he’s sleeping.