Yes – it’s Fashion Week here in New York.
Since I went to fashion school, you’d think I’d be really, seriously super excited! OMG! Fashion girls LIVE for fashion week! We starve ourselves for weeks and plan outfits to all the shows! It’s so super glamorous and I can’t wait to rub shoulders with Anna Wintour and Rachel Zoe and Victoria Beckham!
Fashion week sucks.
That shit might have been exciting when you’re an eager beaver freshman, but since I actually went to fashion school for my post-graduate degree, I had already reached the jaded stage and worked for long enough in the industry to know that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Here is a realistic run-down of the shit that happens at fashion week:
- Unless you’re a buyer, A-List celebrity, fashion editor or a billionaire, your seats are going to be crap.
- Fashion week is in the middle of the New York winter. Often, it coincides with snowstorms. Falling flat on your face because your fuck-off high heels slipped in the snow? Not sexy.
- All the good shows are redonk hard to get into. A lot of the times you will be standing in the back. You won’t be able to see shit.
- Where do you think the term ‘fashionably late’ came from? Not only are you standing around waiting for hours, but your feet will also hurt from said standing. Wear flats I hear you say? Bitch, its fashion week – who knows when you’re going to be spontaneously snapped by some photographer and be featured in the Vogue Street Style section!
- You spend hours discussing the upcoming trends with your bestie, only to realize that you’ve spent half a day discussing if you prefer neons or pastels. Yes – this is your life.
- You have to say that you loved the show, even if the clothes looked like they were created by a retarded 5-year-old.
- All the air-kissing and ass-kissing and fake conversations start to get old after day 2 – and remember, there are 5 more days to go!
- You’ll feel fat because models are always, always skinner than you.
- There’s nothing to eat, but that’s okay because you’ve just realized that you’re fat.
On the plus side, you do usually get to see some form on nudity on the runway – however, any excited is dampened by the fact that these bitches are so skinny they don’t usually have any good tits to look at. For example, this happened at the Marc Jacobs show last night:
So, this is Lily McMenamy, the 18-year-old daughter of the 90’s legendary model in the Kristen McMenamy. Is it just me or is her face totally fucked up? Don’t you think Marc was like – dude, I have to use this bitch because she’s some supermodel’s daughter. Maybe if I send her down the runway topless no-one will even notice how messed up her face is?
Epic Fail, Marc. Epic. Fail.Read More »