How do you do it…? From your blog it’s clear you know how to party, and you know your drinks – always a sign of good education.
Still, you don’t seem to suffer too much of the Dreaded Day After (judging from your immaculate blog pics…)
Is there a secret recipe?
You’re so sweet!
I have to be 100% honest with you – I have suffered from many, many, many excruciating hangovers in my lifetime. In fact, just a couple of weekends ago, I literally thought I was going to die on Sunday. Husband and I had spent Saturday drinking with good friends in celebration of our anniversary. The day was so epic that we started drinking at 1pm and was still drinking at 10pm.
Needless to say, when I woke up on Sunday, it wasn’t pretty. Epic hangover days like this involve myself laying on my couch in front of the television all day, only getting up to throw up in the bathroom. On that particular Sunday I believe this may have happened all of about 15 times – from the hours of 10am until 4pm. Husband emerged from his study to check on me a couple of times, but really – what can he do? It was around 5pm he came and asked me if I was finally well enough to stomach food and this was when he realized how much a wreck I was:
Husb: Dude – how are you feeling? Oh, look at your face. Did you have a breakout from last night?
Me: Ah, no. These are broken capillaries in my face.
Husb: What? How did you manage to break so many capillaries?
Me: Did you not hear me attempting to empty my entire stomach lining into the toilet all day?
Husb: Dude. That’s pretty hardcore. You look like shit.
Me: I know. Don’t look at me. It’ll be gone by tomorrow.
It wasn’t one of my finest hours.
However – having been hungover so many times in my life, I have developed some tricks of the trade to lessen the impact the next day:
You can find out more about Mercy and where to buy it here – http://www.drinkmercy.com/
- Water – If you’re like me and rarely follow the ‘drink a glass of water after every cocktail’ rule, it’s generally best if you come home at the end of the night and drink an entire bucket of water. Granted, when you’re drunk, drinking a gallon of anything other than vodka seems like a difficult feat – I mean, you might drown. However, in order to make my life easier, I also place a giant bottle of water on my bedside table so Drunk Julie can be alike – oh that’s right! I’m supposed to drink water before I pass out in my clothes!
Granted, most of the time I’m so stumbling drunk I generally knock all that shit off my nightstand in one fell swoop before I jump into bed. Hence the epic hangovers.
- Codeine – I swear by codeine. This nifty little painkiller is my go to drug since it significantly dulls the pain of your headache. Back in Australia, we can purchase codeine over the counter so whenever I go back home, I stock up on this. And when I say stock up, I don’t mean a couple of packets – I literally will rip out my suitcase lining and sew packets of that shit in there. Please don’t arrest me.
Since you can’t get codeine over the counter here, whenever my doctor prescribes me painkillers like Oxycodone, I make sure I save a couple of those suckers for the day after drinking.
- Coconut Water – the next morning when you wake up feeling like ass and your mouth tastes like a homeless man, I suggest consuming copious amounts of coconut water. It is full of electrolytes so it’s an excellent rehydrater and also contains nearly as much potassium as a banana. It’s especially handy for me since I have a banana-phobia. Don’t even ask.
- I always crave something seriously carby the morning after. My theory is – and this may be complete bullshit since I came up with it myself – when you ingest carbs, they soak up all the residual alcohol you have left in your system from the previous night. Granted, most of the time after I consumed said carbs it triggers something in my system which leads me to hurl, which again, in my own fucked up mind, is a win-win situation. Why? Well, not only are you expelling the residual alcohol, you’re also not really consuming those fatty carbs because, hey – you just threw them up!
SKII Mask – Trust me, after you’ve spent a day hurling, there are pros and there are cons. Pros: your stomach is seriously flat and toned since throwing up requires you to engage your core. It’s a good ab workout! Cons – your face looks like shit. In order to counteract the ugliness, I swear by my SKII treatment masks. I don’t know what is in there – something like the essence they get from rice or some other Asian ingredient – but I swear to god, my skin returns to its normal flawless self after I use this mask. It’s not cheap – I believe it retails for about $30 per mask, but I purchase it by the boxful when I duty-free shop. It’s a fricking god-send not just for Asian complexions like mine – one time I put it on Husband when his face got incredibly sunburnt while we were on vacation, and the next day – boom – perfect non-sunburnt skin. Seriously that shit is like magic.
So – the lovely J – I could be lame and tell you to drink in moderation, but we all know us Trophy Wives like to live in excess. So using my somewhat helpful tips and tricks, go balls to the wall and drink that magnum of Bollinger all by yourself!