As a trophy wife, how do you choose your benchmarks? I love your blog because you’re not shy about scolding women who let themselves go, or who can’t be arsed to lose weight. (So many people these days seem to make excuses or try to repackage borderline-obesity as “curvy” when we all know that what men most want is a slim-but-shapely girl!) At the same time, you’ve also posted numerous photos of yourself looking chubby, and the extra weight never seems to bother you. How do you balance looking good, but not obsessing about it to the point of neurosis? Or is obsession a necessary part of being a perfect TW?
You know, I’ve wanted to address this fat person hating for a while, so I’m glad I could use your question as a segue. Not like one of those moving segways that fatties ride around in, because god forbid they actually do some exercise! Gasp! And really, segways are for douchebags.
Anywho – I’m glad you totally get that I hate on fatties not because they’re fat, but because they’ve basically given up on themselves. Nothing bugs me more than people who are all “Oh, my life is shit” and then they just sit on their ass waiting for someone to come and change it for them. Listen wide load – no one is going to come and physically remove the donut out of your mouth and then hoist you up using a crane to the gym – you’re going to have to take some pride in yourself and your appearance and change your life for the better, not only externally but also for your health.
As you may have read in my previous post Fat-Phobia, I have also constantly struggled with weight all my life – and really, what girl hasn’t? I’ve always been 100% honest in saying that I am not a skinny girl – I’m 5 foot 8 inches and an US size 8. My build always and forever will be athletic – I think I get it from my dad. Thank god I got my awesome tits from my mom, because it would be totally awkward if I got those from my dad too…
Anyways – yes, you’ll see pictures of me at times looking not so skinny. I’m totally okay with that – I’m one of those people who never ever delete any tagged photos of myself on Facebook because I mean, what’s the point? It’s still me, maybe just on an off day. I don’t always take awesome photos, granted, most of the time I’m seriously drunk and don’t even remember the photo being taken, but I’ve accepted that this is the face and the body I was born with and all I can do is make the most of it. I’m lucky because Husband loves athletic girls – I mean he considers Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner his two hottest actresses.
Of course, I go through stages where I’ve been super skinny – in fact, during my recent trip back to Taiwan, my mother actually said to me that I can’t lose any more weight because I’ll be too skinny. Me! Too Skinny! From my Mother!! Seriously, I nearly dropped my cocktail when she said that. I’ve also gone through stages where I’ve been a serious Fatty McFatFat. Dude – did you SEE the pictures of me from my surprise proposal? I mean, back-fat much? Ew. But I take it all in my stride – if I put on a couple of pounds, I make sure to increase the exercise and eat healthy for a couple of weeks.
I guess the short answer to your question is that I set myself realistic benchmarks for myself. Realistic is the way that I know my own strengths and weaknesses. I love, love, love food so I know that I will never be the kind of girl who puts themselves on a strict diet of egg-whites, chicken breast and salmon. And we are all acutely aware of my alcoholism, so I’m never going to pretend to myself that I will stop drinking. If I need to drop a few pounds, I cut down on my portion sizes and eat healthy during the week, but on the weekends I eat whatever I want and drink like a fish (I’m pretty sure fish don’t drink btw. I have fish, they’re not constantly drinking the tank water.) If I know I’m going to be consuming more than 1,500 calories on any given day, I increase my exercise for the day so I know that at the end of the week, my weight will still be down. I’m also lucky because of my Gym Husband, my personal trainer. He helps keep a strict eye on my weight for me and we adapt our workouts to meet certain goals.
At the end of the day, looking good should be important to any girl – exercise should be a part of your lifestyle, not something that you fit in every couple of weeks. But I don’t obsess over my looks – okay fine, those couple of days when I had the chicken pox and cried like a bitch because I thought I looked ugly may not be the best example… But what guy wants to wife up a girl who is all “Do I look skinny? Why didn’t you tell me that I look skinny when you first saw me? Why did you look at my thighs when you first came in the door? Is it because they’re fat? You think they’re fat don’t you? OMG I should have NEVER had that one M&M this afternoon! ARGH I hate my body!!!”
Um – calm the fuck down Cray.
At the end of the day, a man wants to be with someone who is confident and comfortable in their body.
Trust me – I never bitch to Husband if I’ve put on a few extra pounds – I just hit the gym for an extra hour, eat a lot more salads and maybe have only 3 Grey Goose sodas per night instead of 5.
Ps – here is a recent photo of myself looking skinny. Thank god.Read More »