Contrary to popular belief, my current Husband is not actually my first Husband – yes, there was one before him; the person I now call Husband Number 2.

Obviously, he wasn’t called Husband Number 2 to start with; he was always my first husband until my current husband came along. Husband Number 2 graciously handed over the title to the only man worthy enough of the claim.

For the rest of this post, the term Husband Number 1 will refer to my current Husband Number 2, just to avoid any confusion.

I met Husband Number 1 while I was working at ACNielsen back in 2005 as an account manager. My job entailed me to spend much of my time on-site at my client’s offices, and while on-site one day, I was introduced to this handsome and impeccably dressed senior manager.  My weakness is a well dressed man; I’ve actually caught myself on many occasions getting sidetracked from my destination when a gentleman in perfectly tailored suit crosses my path.  I spent a lot of my time working with this senior manager, and we both realized these two key points: Firstly, I knew nothing about my job, but he loved it when I swan [Read More…]

My birthday is coming up next week, and just to save all of you the hassle of trying to discreetly find out what I want, I’ve put together for you a handy shopping list! Lists like the one below are also beneficial in that it saves you having to receive gifts that suck. For example, one of the first gifts that Husband ever purchased for me was a Hermes cuff. Awesome gift, right? Well it did take him a few tries before he got the right one.

It was just after we started dating, and he asks me is there anything I really wanted? I may have hinted to him that I would LOVE a Hermes cuff. Okay, I pretty much said “I WANT A HERMES CUFF.” Lo and behold, my birthday rolls around, Husband hands me a beautiful cuff-sized Hermes box. I eagerly rip into it, and out come something which looked very similar to this cuff:

Listen, I’m not the best actress, so the first words out of my mouth were “You kept the receipt, right?” Hey, I’m not an ungrateful bitch. I just think if you’re going to spend $600 on a cuff, I might as well get the [Read More…]

Ah…where to start with Stalker Number Three? No doubt he will read this post so I’ll try and do him justice.

I met stalker number 3 during my first year of my undergraduate degree at the University of Sydney in 1998; he was a fellow economics major in my Accounting 101 tutorial. I can’t recall exactly how we started talking, it might have been because we were working together in some sort of group assignment and that’s probably how he got hold of my cell phone number. Anywho, after I failed Accounting 101 (what? Accounting is HARD yo. Seriously, who cares about LIFO and FIFO and balance sheets? All I want to know is when my next lump sum of money is going to be deposited my bank account!) I saw him around the campus a few times and there was always some sort of awkward exchange of conversation. Awkward mostly on his behalf because he was quite the dork, and this was WAY before I went through my nerd fetish, so the whole concept of talking to a geek didn’t much appeal to me back then.

We than established some sort of relationship over the phone, and it dawned on me [Read More…]