Lessons For My 20′s


As I draw ever closer to my impending 35th birthday this weekend, I am reminded of a question someone tweeted at me recently – What is something you would tell your 20 year old self?

Well – there are a fuckload of things I would have told me 20 year old self – most notably – don’t stay with that guy who never gave you an orgasm and for some reason thinks he did every single time – but that probably wouldn’t be much help to my young and nubile readers in their 20’s; so here are the 10 key things I want to pass down from me to you:

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Partner Reviews

Girl Reading

Husband writes a lot of reviews for his colleges at work – you know what I mean – it’s when you get a chance to vent about how poorly or how awesomely (that’s a word, right?!) your peers have been performing.

Which gives me an idea: why don’t we have the same thing in relationships? Like a 3 month/6 months/yearly review process? Not only will it give each party an opportunity to vent their frustration and celebrate the good stuff, but it also solves that awkward – where is this going? – discussion that no one ever wants to instigate.

I think this is a fucking great idea – shocking, I know since I came up with it.

I’ve given this a lot of thought over the past 5 minutes and here is what I’ve come up with for my impending review for the Husband:

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For those who follow me on Instagram and on my Facebook page (links above in header), you are probably aware that I am currently participating in the torture that is Soberary.

What is Soberary, you ask? Well – it’s not good.

In fact, it sucks major ass.

It’s basically me not drinking anything alcoholic for the month of February. Why February? Duh – it’s the shortest month of the year – or so I thought. Right now, February is feeling like it’s lasting forever.

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Not Every Girl Loves Valentine’s Day


Considering it’s about to slap us all in the face tomorrow, I thought it would be appropriate for me to share my thoughts about the so-called ‘Most Romantic Day of the Year.’

Here is a link to my Elite Daily article Not Every Girl Loves Valentine Day.

Come on – you can’t be too surprised about my musings. We all know how I feel about anything romantical, right?

Although, I have asked Husband for one gift, and it’s the gift I ask for every year – see pic above.

I’m really hoping he gets his shit together this year and finally come through with the bear.

Happy Valentine’s Day bitches!

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Ask TW: How to Introduce Sex on the First Date

Sex first date

Dear Trophy Wife,

As a man, it was really refreshing to read your infamous article about why women should have sex on a first date with men of interest. It’s a shame there are very very few women on this planet with your attitude and your mindset, otherwise the world would be a better place.

As far as I am concerned, modern society whole dating ritual is absolute bullshit and a complete waste of time, money and energy. And one thing I hate the most is wasting my time. I know from experience a lot of women want to engage in sex on the first date but are afraid of being labeled as “sluts” by society. So how do I introduce sex on the first date with a woman of interest in our first conversation without playing head games?

Thanks and keep up the good work


Dear Désiré,

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TW2.0 Update

Sydney 2014

Thought I’d catch up kids up with what’s been going on in my life recently. They’re all rather disjointed and I’m not good enough of a writer to segue into each one so I’ll just list each event separately, because, you know, English second language and all:


Scene – Husband and I are in bed Monday night. Time is close to midnight. (Man, I’d be awesome at this screenwriting thing, right? Is that what it’s called? Playwriting maybe? Whatever.)

Me: Yo did you get this email from your mother?

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I’m LIVE on air Tonight!

Hey – what are you doing tonight?

Staying home because it’s freezing outside? Yeah…me too.

Oh…you know, if you’re staying home, why don’t you listen to me on the radio?

WTF? Where the hell am I supposed to find a radio – you say? Sigh, I know. I remember the days when I actually had a radio (I’m old people).

Never fear! You can click on THIS LINK and listen to me LIVE tonight at 10pm EST or 7pm PST on the Alan Roger Currie show discussing sex, dating and relationships.

You can even call in on 646 478 5710 and say wassup!

I’d love to hear from you guys!

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Women and Online Harassment

I wanted to write my first real 2014 post about something light and fluffy – like telling you about details of my Australia vacation. However, when I read this piece today by Amanda Hess, it stirred up such strong emotions in me that I couldn’t not write about it.

Even now, an hour after I read the article, I am still very much worked up and angry about the ordeal she and other women on the internet had to experience.

I’ll give you some time to read it here: Why Women aren’t Welcome on the Internet. While it is a long piece, trust me, it’s worth investing the time to get to the end.

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!

I just got back from Australia last night and need to get my shit together after being away for 3 weeks.

BUT – I have been DESPERATE to share this YouTube clip with you.

We found this while we were bored one afternoon in Melbourne and it has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen. In my life.


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